Welcome to the lore-filled centre of this shrine. A few important things to note before we get into it... And to make things quicker to understand, I have coloured important names. Below is a list.


1000 B.C.Harry A. Rachnid is deposed as a demigod and cast into the mortal realm.

1904Milo Thaddeus Pinkerton I is born at the family castle in New England.

1921Pinkerton I attends Malign Master Mind University.

1925Dr. Pinkerton I begins his career as a musical mad scientist, incorporating popular jazz music into his plans.

1945Milo Thaddeus Pinkerton II is born at his father's secret base in Antarctica. Pinkerton I believes his son will succeed him and devotes most of his resources to young Pinkerton's upbringing.

1962Pinkerton II attends Malign Master Mind University, majoring in electrical instruments. While at school, Pinkerton II discovers he doesn't like the traditional family pursuit of evil. Knowing how much this will upset his father he keeps this to himself. What he doesn't keep to himself is his love for new rock and roll music, which his father holds in great disdain.

1964 ─ While on a school field trip to Japan to study giant robots and monsters, Pinkerton II meets a gifted female Japanese computer expert named Jaaku Masatora.

1968 ─ Newly graduated Dr. Pinkerton II begins his career as a musical mad scientist. Differing from the family philosophy, most of his ventures end up benign in nature, concentrating on furthering the boundaries of extreme musical science.

1969 - 1971Dr. Pinkerton II and Jaaku are in an on-again / off-again love affair. Pinkerton II saves Jaaku's life when agents from NSO-GABWKY try to kill her.

1972Dr. Pinkerton II moves to his father's sealed secret base in Antarctica.

1973Dr. Pinkerton I disowns Pinkerton II after an argument about music and the nature of mad science, Pinkerton II stating that, "Science doesn't even have to be evil to be extreme!" This ends in a falling-out between the two when his father declares that no son of his "will defile the Pinkerton name by doing good." Pinkerton storms out and turns his back on evil science, even leaving Jaaku, whom he doesn't realise is pregnant; And as she is an evil scientist herself, he felt she wouldn't understand.

1973Milo Thaddeus Pinkerton III is born at his grandfather's secret base in Antarctica.

1973 - 1990Milo III is raised by his grandfather and mother. His mother teaches him all she knows about computers, and he becomes one of the world's most knowledgeable computer programmers. His grandfather constantly drills into his head the necessity of being evil. Milo III shows no sign of his father's "good" tendencies and becomes the juvenile terror of the secret base. He doesn't know anything about his father other than what his grandfather and mother tell him. They tell him he's on his way to take over the world. Years later, Milo III concludes his father must be dead and swears he will complete his father's quest of conquering earth.

1990Pinkerton III attends Malign Master Mind University, like his evil grandfather and not-so-evil father. Pinkerton meets Krink Sidweal and Procyon Lotor, and develops his mastery in all types of music, especially hard rock, with his personal Grand Unified Theory of Music. As part of his doctoral dissertation, Pinkerton traces the origin of rock and roll to New Orleans, concluding the city must be the focal point of modern music, and therefore a source of power.

Also at Malign Master Mind University, Pinkerton III meets Yngwie Flattstein, a heavy metal guitar hero college dropout. As a master of heavy metal, Yngwie can perform guitar licks that no other living human could possibly attempt. Pinkerton III recognises this as a powerful skill, albeit an odd one.

ALSO at Malign Master Mind University, Pinkerton III meets The Angel of Death. They were in a fraternity together.

1994 ─ Newly graduated Dr. Pinkerton III sets out to begin his career as a musical mad scientist. He bases his overall scheme on his Grand Unified Theory of Music and moves to New Orleans. Pinkerton III hopes to harness this power and fulfil his father's (supposed) quest to take over the world.

1996Dr. Pinkerton III builds a name for himself within the extreme science community. He also discovers a dimensional nodal point intersecting an old neighbourhood in New Orleans. Seeing the connection to his theory, he immediately makes plans to purchase the building currently standing above the nodal point so he can study this phenomenon.

1997Pinkerton III is nearly killed when a rash scheme for quick world domination backfires. He concludes that one mad scientist alone simply cannot conquer the world. Believing this must have been what happened to his father, he contacts his old college friends Dr. Krink Sidweal and Dr. Procyon Lotor to assemble a consortium of like minds to to realise his lifelong dream.

Years are now separated with lines due to several events happening each year.

1998Dr. Milo T. Pinkerton III, Dr. Krink Sidweal, and Dr. Procyon Lotor form The Consortium Of Genius. Excavating from the street level, the three of them began constructing the C.O.G. Secret Lab below the building above the dimensional nodal point. The old building remains above ground as a façade and foyer.

Dr. Procyon and Dr. Pinkerton begin assembling of both Drumbot and the Time Door. Dr. Pinkerton builds and programs Computer in the process of creating the Secret Lab infrastructure.

They also recruit a lab assistant, and, believing her life will probably be short, simply dub her "Lab Girl".

Dr. A. Pentatonic is also recruited.

A young science fan named Filbert Wilhelm Snodgrass, begins idolising the C.O.G., organizing a fan club and following the C.O.G. around, eventually discovering their secret lair. After he proves impossible to evade or dispose of and incessantly pestering Dr. Pinkerton about being let into "that awesome-y science-like group" he's in, Filbert is admitted into the C.O.G. as a Junior Scientist in Training.

1999Dr. Pinkerton and Dr. Procyon complete Drumbot. Soon after, while Dr. Procyon is running a trans-dimensional test on the nodal energy point, a stranger visits the lab babbling about a mystical portal. Almost simultaneously, the vortex generator malfunctions, forming a connection between Dimension M and Dimension C. Lab Girl 1 and Drumbot, standing nearby, are transformed into cartoons. Unfortunately, Dr. Procyon was too close and was entirely sucked into Dimension C! Faced with the choice of saving either Lab Girl 1 or Drumbot, Dr. Pinkerton quickly retrieves a Dimensional Stabiliser to keep the valuable Drumbot from melting into ink and paint, leaving Lab Girl 1 to a messy fate.

In the process, Pinkerton discovers and self-names the particle, Pinkyon, that is the basis of transdimensional physics.

Dr. Sidweal recruits his cousin as the new lab assistant - Lab Girl 2, and promises to keep an eye on her.

At a very early lecture in a seedy laboratory, the C.O.G. meets Antonioni Pentatonicci. Having disposed of the REAL Dr. A. Pentatonic earlier that year, Pentatonicci successfully begins to weasel his way into the C.O.G. by impersonating the real Pentatonic.

Later that year, Dr. Pinkerton and Dr. Sidweal recruit Dr. Cornelius Smerlington to replace Dr. Procyon. Dr. Smerlington and Dr. Pinkerton construct the Pinkyon powered televideo screen to communicate with Dr. Procyon in Dimension C and the other dimensions. Dr. Smerlington begins overseeing the excavation and construction of much of the Secret Lab.

2000 ─ In real life, the album Free Brains & Dead Bodies came out. If you want, you can imagine the album's events happened around now.

Dr. Sidweal completes the Time Door. During their initial testing, he and Dr. Pinkerton travel to the future and purchase an aircar from a used car lot, and bring it back to the present, piece by piece. During one of these trips a temporal wave causes the Time Door to malfunction, causing Lab Girl 2 to become lost somewhere in time. Despite his best efforts Dr. Sidweal is unable to find her. Subsequently, Dr. Sidweal fails to return from a solo journey of his own to the far future. After this, the Time Door begins to work very unreliably.

2001Dr. Pinkerton recruits Lab Girl 3 and Dr. Wolfgang Amadeus Wissenschaft to take the place of the missing Dr. Sidweal. With the absence of the two partners he trusted as peers, Dr. Pinkerton becomes more and more autocratic and overbearing.

With dwindling numbers, and to help with driving the newly-acquired aircar, Dr. Pinkerton is forced to recruit Dr. Zaemon Abdul Siddartha Mahmoud Achmell Tutmos Abram Ali Hermes Odin Mahatma Dahali Martin Luther Hussein Kali Rocka Babu Haegiegi III (better known as Dr. Z).

Dr. Wissenschaft begins work on orbiting space platform named FretBase 1. Dr. Pinkerton sees the base's superlaser as a key to his world domination plan. Unfortunately, within a few months of construction, a serious flaw is discovered in the superstructure's intonation, and it crashes out of orbit. Undaunted, Dr. Wissenschaft begins work on FretBase 2.

2002Filbert's clumsiness and chronic ineptitude causes him to accidentally damage a weather satellite, which then crashes into FretBase 2, breaking off the headstock and therefore depriving it of maneuvering thrusters. Fretbase 2 blazes a fiery trail as it plummets through the atmosphere.

2003 ─ A highly frustrated Dr. Wissenschaft begins construction on FretBase 3.

Dr. Cornelius Smerlington disappears while out for supplies. He is kidnapped by a shadow group known as the NSO-GABWKY (No Such Organization - Go Away Before We Kill You) The NSO decide that the C.O.G. pose no great threat to world security, but decide to eliminate FretBase 3 just to be sure.

2004 ─ In real life, the album In C.O.G. We Trust came out. If you want, you can imagine the album's events happened around now.

Lab Girl 3 sneaks onto the newly completed FretBase 3 to get away from Dr. Z and to give Dr. Wissenschaft a congratulatory physical upon his scheduled arrival. Minutes before his arrival however, a breach in the base's reactor core causes FretBase 3 to blow up, killing her. The reactor had been sabotaged by the NSO and rigged to explode upon the arrival of the next visitor to FretBase 3. FretBase 3 is destroyed but the NSO have failed to kill the base's designer as planned.

After much convincing by Dr. Pinkerton (who very much wants his orbiting superlaser), Dr. Wissenschaft begins construction of FretBase 4. Dr. Pinkerton is forced to scrape the bottom of the barrel of the extreme science community to find someone to become Lab Girl 4.

2005 ─ While poking around the lab, Lab Girl 4 quite unwisely decides to find out what is inside a reactor core and dies. Filbert, who believed he had found a kindred spirit, is heartbroken. Dr. Pinkerton, who is becoming quite jaded by the constant loss of personnel, recruits Lab Girl 5, who is actually an NSO spy.

2006Dr. Wissenschaft finally completes his work on FretBase 4, and insists on personally piloting it into a permanent stable orbit. While going through the complex series of heavy metal guitar licks needed to control the base, Dr. Wissenschaft gets lost in the music and loses control of his own reflexes. In a fit of enthusiasm he improvises wildly, ending the crazed performance by smashing the guitar controller for FretBase 4 into an amp. He realizes too late that he has destroyed his only means of controlling the ship as it plunges into the atmosphere.

2007Dr. Pinkerton needs a new recruit to take Dr. Wissenschaft's place after his passing, but applicants are becoming scarce as news of C.O.G.'s death rate races around the extreme science community. Then unexpectedly a new scientist arrives on their doorstep in the form of Dr. Harry A. Rachnid. After Dr. Rachnid arrives, the Dimensional Vortex Generator begins to work properly for the first time since Dr. Procyon's accident. What Dr. Pinkerton doesn's know is that Dr. Rachnid is the same stranger who visited the lab the night Dr. Procyon was pulled into Dimension C, and that it is only his magic combined with their science that can activate the Vortex Generator.

Later this year, Lab Girl 5 and a time traveller by the name of Trixie De Havilland formulate a plan to complete Lab Girl 5's mission from NSO. Lab Girl 5 fakes her own death and insinuates Trixie into the C.O.G. as Lab Girl 6.

2008Lab Girl 6 joins the C.O.G. and the events of the C.O.G. TV take place. Unfortunately, Filbert was working the camera for most of the episodes, and he forgot to actually start recording. The only remnants of C.O.G. TV we can watch are episodes 1, 3, and 4.

AKA anything after 2008.

2010 ─ In real life, the album Music For Supervillains came out. If you want, you can imagine the album's events happened around now.

2012Formelda-Hyde Pinkerton uses the Time Door to travel back about 100 years, meet her grandfather, and restore honour to the Pinkerton name. Pinkerton I and other Steamcog personnel were transported to the present, and they formed The New Orleans Steamcog Orchestra.

Dr. Pinkerton is captured and held hostage by the Komrades Oppression Group and forced to produce a hit record for them.

2013 ─ ."lamron" ot kcaB ...yaw thgir eht ni kcab decalp dna devomer saw niarb sih ,(ton ebyam ro) ylikcul ,"ytisoreneG fo noitarepooC" sa sgnos .G.O.C gnitsixe fo snoisrev live-non edam eH !deppaws yllatnem saw III notrekniP ,nosaer emos roF

2014Drumbot goes missing only to reappear having formed a post-robopocalyptic all-machine band from the year "08x42" calling itself "Circuits or Gears".

2015 ─ Utilizing some leftover brains and a specially developed network lattice, Dr. Pinkerton constructs a megabrain network inside a Think Tank to augment his research. During some downtime, the Think Tank grafts itself onto a heavy constuction vehicle and goes on a rampage throughout the city...

2016Dr. Pinkerton formally announces his candidacy for the office of President of the United States, with his first cam-pain stop to be held at the upcoming Supervillain Summit.

Dr. Pinkerton's presidential campaign is revealed to be influenced by a VERY foreign power... an alien one! Conspiracy theories run wild as an alien invasion seems imminent...

And after a shocking turn to the election, Dr. Pinkerton's participation in the whole debacle is traced to the influence of the secondary brain attached to the top of his head. With the malignant mind removed, Pinkerton is back to his bad old self.

2017Dr. Pinkerton kicks everybody out of the Secret Lab and, using an old scanning laser, digitizes himself into the Internet!

Pinkerton's internet reign ends when his colleagues, under instruction from Morgus the Magnificent, print out Dr. Pinkerton on a 3D printer. (But very small. He ends up accidentally being stepped on. Yeowch!)

2018Drumbot, after being late to a gig and associating with his old flame Remy, finally pisses off Dr. Pinkerton to the point he is kicked from the band. Replacement drummers are seeked out but ultimately Dr. Pinkerton announces Drumbot 2.0.

Drumbot 2.0 succeeds in destroying Dr. Pinkerton's greatest enemy - Himself! By stabbing Dr. Pinkerton through the chest with a drumstick. Drumbot reveals that he was in contact with this robot the entire time, and declares himself permanently in charge of the C.O.G.

Drumbot announces the creation of "Pinkertron", a robot substitute for slain lead singer Dr. Pinkerton. Pinkertron releases a single with the C.O.G. entitled "Learn To Speak Binary".

Pinkertron and Drumbot are eventually stopped by the REAL Consortium of Genius, who thaw out an old Pinkerton clone found at the back of the freezer - dated 5-29-1999!

2020Pinkerton begins trapping miniaturized music acts in his Secret Lab every week, and experimenting on them to test their skill & threat levels, and rewarding the ones that pass the test in a weekly competition called Escape From the Secret Lab.